Take Seven - Australiana

Bam? It’s called Cillit Bang you Australian weirdo’s! I guess it’s just like Vincent in Pulp Fiction said: “It's the little differences. A lotta the same sh*t we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.” And no I didn’t go in to Burger King either…well you can’t anyway because it’s called Hungry Jacks here.

So I’ll carry on where I left off, where we found ourselves at Brisbane airport freezing our asses off in 20 degree heat. I guess 20 isn’t that cold, but it’s a drop of 16 degrees from what we had been used to for the last 4 months. To be honest I was just relieved to be in a country where you don’t need to use two small pieces of wood to eat your dinner. Honestly, I think chopsticks must be Asia’s big practical joke on the rest of the world. Come on people, cutlery was invented way back in the 11th Century, you can’t tell me it hasn’t reached Vietnam yet! Anyway, Brisbane is a lovely city, it has a bit of a little London feel. Just like home it has a South Bank where the art galleries, museum and theatre is, plus they even have a mini London Eye, which is probably called the Brisbane Eye as that would make more sense. We took a trip on the river taxi (like the one at home) to the Suburbs then trekked 3 miles across a University campus just to eat some mediocre Fish ‘n’ Chips (the chips are rubbish here) and then rode the ferry back in to town again. As we always do we looked at paintings and skeletons and other things you find in galleries and museums, we drank beer and ate food, we browsed shops and walked around quite a bit. The highlight for me was a visit to the XXXX brewery, a beer so crap even Fosters outsold it in the UK. To be fair it’s a lot better beer than Fosters, but it’s not about the taste anyway, it’s all about the yeast oxidation. There’s just something so exciting about the fermentation process that can’t be put in to words…plus you got free beer.

After a few days we caught the Greyhound bus up to the small seaside town of Noosa. The beach looked good, although we only stood on it for about 30seconds to take a photo. But we didn’t stop to lie on a beach anyway, we were here for a trip to the Erwin Estate, otherwise known as the Australian Zoo. It’s pretty average, especially when compared to Singapore Zoo, but we touched a Koala, watched the overrated Croc show in the ‘Crocoseum’ and debated the age old question, do you stroke or pat a Kangaroo? After a quick stare at the Tigers we headed back to Noosa and the next day ‘Greyhounded’ it up to Hervey Bay.

We stopped at Hervey Bay for the same reason as most travellers do, and that’s for a trip to Fraser Island. But first we headed for the local airport for a flight by Tonka toy to the remote Lady Elliot Island. It’s right on the southern tip of the Great Barrier Reef and is so small it’s pretty much just a runway with a few huts on the side. It’s a serious budget buster, but if you’re going to bust it I can’t imagine a better place to do so, this is one of the highlights of the trip. We snorkelled with many fish and watched huge Loggerhead Turtles and Manta Rays swimming by, plus we ate the best all-you-can-eat roast dinner, which was included in the price (I ate 15 roast potatoes to make up for the cost, that‘ll learn ‘em).

After a couple of days we jumped back on the plane to Hervey bay, which was bum clenchingly piloted by a 12 year old boy, who we mistook for a nerdy plane spotter before we saw him jump in the front and start the engine.
Back at Hervey Bay there was no time to rest as we took a day trip over to Fraser Island, the largest sand island in the world. We saw Humpback Whales breeching in the sea while driving down the amazing 75 mile beach (which is a registered highway and where you have to give way to aeroplanes landing and taking off), we swam in the very cold but very beautiful lake McKenzie and didn‘t feel the even the slightest bit tempted to pat the wild Dingo‘s sniffing around for scraps of food.

After another Greyhound bus ride back to Brisbane and a few days watching TV in a hostel, we bought our tickets to Darwin. The flight was pretty uneventful although I think the Cabin Staff were conducting a secret experiment to see how much electricity they could produce using 200 statically charged blankets and a plane full of unsuspecting passengers. After eating our pack lunch we spent the next 4 and a bit hours watching the Flight Path Channel. Now it sounds pretty boring when you try and describe it out of context, but up there it becomes the most compelling thing seen on a TV screen since the 1986 Christmas episode of Eastenders when Den handed Angie the divorce papers. You’re on edge of your seat as the outside temperature drops from -50 to -51 degrees, or as the plane edges itself a mm closer to the final destination. Although it’s a bit of a farce really as the plane on the map is about the size of Tasmania, and if that was true the fortunate passengers at the front would be supping a cappuccino in Darwin Airport while the poor suckers at the back would still be stuck flying somewhere over the Great Sandy Desert. Anyway, we disembarked the plane and found ourselves in Darwin, the largest town in the Northern Territory, population 115,000. And that’s all I can be bothered to talk about for now, but tune in soon for the one about two Brits, a campervan and the long drive down to Perth.

Here are the photo’s if you haven‘t seen them already:
http://s260.photobucket.com/albums/ii40/rachelandjoseph/

Bye.

Joe n Rachel.x.x.x.